The Pussycat Dolls once sang, “When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies,” basically singing out their dreams. A dream—that’s something everyone has right? The goal we all want to achieve in the next five years or so. A career for some, a state of mind for others. It’s something so common yet so unique for every single person. However, this doesn’t necessarily apply to everyone, some are still undecided, unmotivated, and indifferent when it comes to achieving that ‘dream.’
You might be staring into space thinking about what you’re doing with your life right now, you might be at that age to start worrying about a career to choose, yet here you are—undecided. This doesn’t take away the general idea you have for the near future, the emphasis is entirely on you, on what you want. So, what do you want?
It sounds so simple but to truly get yourself to admit it takes a certain degree of firmness and determination. And that’s something that won’t always be present when the “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question is thrown in your direction—you’ll definitely catch it but you won’t throw it back. This uncertainty is pretty distressing; it’s not like you don’t have any options, but rather, it’s more on finding that satisfaction and contentment you’d get if you narrow it down on one thing and strive for it. To those who are still starting their college life and to those who are near the end, it might feel like a race but it isn’t. Being stuck is completely different from being undecided—you can still move forward.
On the other hand, you might have a goal in mind, and an ideal path to take, however, it’s driven by obligation rather than the much-preferred passion. It’s quite complicated when you think about it, there’s nothing wrong with this yet it somehow feels empty—you might get the objective results of it but that’s all there is. Reaching for something when you’re unmotivated is a struggle in itself because your heart is not into it. Selena Gomez once sang “the heart wants what it wants,” which is then followed with that famous spark of passion, but sometimes the only thing our hearts do is pump blood. The consequences of working on goals driven by obligation are that it will be more exhausting, and it’s going to take twice the energy to reach them. If you can’t find that spark then force one out of yourself, it sounds silly but it’s worth the shot. If it doesn’t work out, might as well just suck it up and push through with the plan, there’s always a next time.
One last thing, you might be completely indifferent to the future ahead. You’re not concerned, interested, or you simply don’t care about the ‘dream’ people run towards. Almost like there’s some sort of disconnect between whatever you are doing and whatever you’re feeling. People handle their indifference in different kinds of ways. Others don’t slack off with what they’re doing, the opposite for some, and others just stay in that buffer zone, waiting for their future to load. Although there may be reasons for this, it still is concerning. When you get to this point, good self-awareness is crucial to detect indifference. Being aware of it should compel you to take some action and reassess your situation. Don’t let yourself stay indifferent to something as important as your future, it won’t be easy but at this point, nothing is anymore—especially to the things that matter the most.
The question remains, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Let’s dream a dream, and sing our version of The Pussycat Dolls’ song. We might not realize it but there’s an underlying desire to finish and move forward. It’s just hidden in our undecided and unmotivated selves. And while our indifference sits in the fine line between good and bad, let’s set out to find it and kick it over to the good side. The unpopular dreamer exists, so let’s talk about it.
_____
Sophia Therese Del Castillo is a senior BS Accountancy student and the editor-in-chief of The BEACON from A.Y. 2019-2020.